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Can’t stop listening to this.

Franzia 2012: Second in a Series (of infinity)

So me and some friends decided to invent a holiday, inspired by a few other sources like Festivus, about a year and a half ago. The intent was to 1. make it fun and 2. invent a ridiculous culture around it that would reflect us, as assholes.

So Saturday is the second ever Franzia.

The rules, as we’ve established them thus far, are as follows:

Date: The date is technically supposed to be the Saturday following Cinco de Mayo so it doesn’t overlap with anything else and is at a time of year with good weather. Franzia was pushed up to the fifth of May this year to accommodate a due date, but don’t let that stop any Orthodox Franzian from celebrating a week and a half from now.
The Week of Sour Grapes: The week preceding Franzia is known as the Week of Sour Grapes. During the Week, one is to neither consume strawberry soda nor tubed meats. This brings up two responses: “Strawberry soda? I wasn’t going to drink that anyway!” to which I respond “were you not going to, or is that the sour grapes talking?” To the second, the question is often what constitutes a tubed meat. Most agree hot dogs and sausages of all kinds fit in the category, but what about burritos with meat in them? Taquitos? There is no officially binding judgement here, and this requirement pulls people in to the true spirit of Franzia: subjective, hateful, pedantic arguments with one another. You’re already defining what a tubed meat is in your head and you’ve probably already formed strong opinions on it. Welcome to the fold. The punishment for breaking the rules of the Week are as follows: none. But don’t let that kill your fighting spirit or your burning hatred for those whose opinions are slightly different from yours.
Franzia itself requires a large grassy area.

The official garb is bathrobes and pajamas. Other excessively casual clothing works too.
One is to partake of exotic meats during Franzia. Franzia 2011 had alpaca in two different recipes, Franzia 2012 will feature barbecued kangaroo tenderloin. Your choice of exotic meat will make Franzia special for you and yours.
Salads are another culinary requirement. If you can put the word ‘salad’ in the name of a dish and have it make sense, it’s fair game.
Lawn games — croquet, cornhole, lawn darts, anything you can play outdoors that is low impact. The caveat is that all the games must be played in overlapping areas, so that the players of one game will inadvertently interrupt the others, hopefully resulting in arguments and acrimony across each game.
Obviously a festival named after a boxed wine requires cheap, plentiful alcohol and a lax attitude toward binge drinking as to maximize not only personal enjoyment but also the fighting spirit. Arguments are encouraged!

Now that you have been equipped with the knowledge of how to celebrate this profoundly beautiful and ancient holiday, go forth and have your own Franzia celebrations! And remember to argue!

Franzia 2012: Second in a Series (of infinity)

So me and some friends decided to invent a holiday, inspired by a few other sources like Festivus, about a year and a half ago. The intent was to 1. make it fun and 2. invent a ridiculous culture around it that would reflect us, as assholes.

So Saturday is the second ever Franzia.

The rules, as we’ve established them thus far, are as follows:

  1. Date: The date is technically supposed to be the Saturday following Cinco de Mayo so it doesn’t overlap with anything else and is at a time of year with good weather. Franzia was pushed up to the fifth of May this year to accommodate a due date, but don’t let that stop any Orthodox Franzian from celebrating a week and a half from now.
  2. The Week of Sour Grapes: The week preceding Franzia is known as the Week of Sour Grapes. During the Week, one is to neither consume strawberry soda nor tubed meats. This brings up two responses: “Strawberry soda? I wasn’t going to drink that anyway!” to which I respond “were you not going to, or is that the sour grapes talking?” To the second, the question is often what constitutes a tubed meat. Most agree hot dogs and sausages of all kinds fit in the category, but what about burritos with meat in them? Taquitos? There is no officially binding judgement here, and this requirement pulls people in to the true spirit of Franzia: subjective, hateful, pedantic arguments with one another. You’re already defining what a tubed meat is in your head and you’ve probably already formed strong opinions on it. Welcome to the fold. The punishment for breaking the rules of the Week are as follows: none. But don’t let that kill your fighting spirit or your burning hatred for those whose opinions are slightly different from yours.
  3. Franzia itself requires a large grassy area.
    • The official garb is bathrobes and pajamas. Other excessively casual clothing works too.
    • One is to partake of exotic meats during Franzia. Franzia 2011 had alpaca in two different recipes, Franzia 2012 will feature barbecued kangaroo tenderloin. Your choice of exotic meat will make Franzia special for you and yours.
    • Salads are another culinary requirement. If you can put the word ‘salad’ in the name of a dish and have it make sense, it’s fair game.
    • Lawn games — croquet, cornhole, lawn darts, anything you can play outdoors that is low impact. The caveat is that all the games must be played in overlapping areas, so that the players of one game will inadvertently interrupt the others, hopefully resulting in arguments and acrimony across each game.
    • Obviously a festival named after a boxed wine requires cheap, plentiful alcohol and a lax attitude toward binge drinking as to maximize not only personal enjoyment but also the fighting spirit. Arguments are encouraged!

Now that you have been equipped with the knowledge of how to celebrate this profoundly beautiful and ancient holiday, go forth and have your own Franzia celebrations! And remember to argue!

(Source: tastywine)

Stupid simple API reference for bottle.py web services

I have a stupid json-only REST API I implemented in bottle.py. This introspects the default app, gives a dumb readout that should act as an adequate reference for discovery:

@bottle.route('/')
def index():
    bottle.response.content_type = 'text/plain'
    return ("=== API REFERENCE ===\n" +
            "\n".join(x['rule'] for x in
                      bottle.app().routes))

School of Seven Bells, Brownies.

  • Mark: The new SVIIB looks intriguing
  • Mark: Did we lose one of the sisters?
  • Me: Yeah
  • Mark: I noticed there's only one in all the publicity shots
  • Mark: Ah, that's a bummer
  • Me: Yeah
  • Mark: DID THEY FIGHT OVER A MAN JASON
  • Me: I DON'T KNOOOOOOW
  • Mark: THE KEYBOARDS DUDE?
  • Mark: WAS IT THAT DUDE JASON?
  • Mark: YOU NEED TO KNOW
  • Mark: YOU NEED TO TELL ME
  • Mark: IT'S IMPORTANT
  • Me: THEY ARGUED OVER THE LAST BROWNIE
  • Mark: (though I have no idea why)
  • Me: SHE WAS REALLY HUNGRY
  • Mark: GODDAMN THAT BROWNIE JASON
  • Mark: THE CORNER ONE
  • Mark: STUCK THERE
  • Me: Oh god with the crust
  • Me: Oh god
  • Mark: TRAPPED BY THE POLYMERIZATION OF IT'S OWN SUGARS
  • Me: I'd quit a band over that
  • Mark: Seriously
  • Me: You'd have to be crazy not to.
Just saying.

Just saying.

True romance

True romance

thecaptainoftheship365 asked: let me know, i'd like to be the official photographer.

You will definitely be the photographer on that beautiful day when I marry a cheeseburger.

If you use Xara Photo and Graphic Designer and want the old UI back, set the HKEY_CURRENT_USER\Software\Xara\Xtreme\7.1\Options\Workspace\DefaultScreenName value to an empty string.

dogswearinghats:

Roxie-Banana (by Cynr)

dogswearinghats:

Roxie-Banana (by Cynr)

dogswearinghats:

HATERS GONNA HATE

dogswearinghats:

HATERS GONNA HATE

Computers used to be pretty but barely functional.

Computers used to be pretty but barely functional.

Sometimes I make things that don’t need to be made.

Like the Nobel Pizza Prize?

Yes. Exactly like that.

Sometimes I make things that don’t need to be made.

Like the Nobel Pizza Prize?

Yes. Exactly like that.